I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
