hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
