so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
