used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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