Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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