Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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