he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
