Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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