He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
