Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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