ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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