You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
