Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
