it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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