She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
