i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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