in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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