My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i think i just lost a toe
The Olympian is in my bed
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
