So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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