I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
