the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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