Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
