i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
