Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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