im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
