she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
