Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
