I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
