ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
