I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize
