no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
