so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
