I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
