Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize