You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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