Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
