:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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