lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
