It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
