bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
