Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
