so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
