I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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