I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
