I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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