My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
