Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
