Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
