where am i from again
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize