is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize