come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
