you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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