she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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