**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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