i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
