So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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