New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
