you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
