pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He has the fingertips of a God
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