1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize