So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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