xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
