He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
