I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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