so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize