Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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